Caged

March 18, 2005

I'm not doing this well.

Really I'm not.
I was sitting yesterday in the chair talking with my assistant and she looked up in exasperation and said, "Do you have any idea what is keeping me from getting my work done?"

No tell me

IT"S YOU

I laughed.

She then told me that she told her husband the other night that although her work is almost done, she was pretty sure I'd pay her to sit there just so there would be someone in the office.

She's right.

I hate being there alone, and since she is working very very part time, when she is not in the office, I basically get nothing done.

Just about zip.

I'm almost functionally useless these days.

I don't deal well with the perpetual state of unknown.

Even though there is work to be done, and a whole lot of money to be made, I'm slacking like you cannot believe.

I can't believe it.

I can't engage, I can't focus, I can hardly get anything done.

I like having a plan, and a plan b and a plan c, and then getting to work on one or the other already.

Just don't make me spin my wheels, because all the gears are falling apart and nothing is working.

I'm feeling lost and I'm also tired of coming home to an empty house.

Law school or not. That makes a difference, probably on what house we buy, and perhaps where we live.

When's the house going to sell? Will the house sell?

How much will we get?

When does the office condo 1 sell? Will it sell, yadda. How about the other one?

The Dr who is renting wants to extend the lease. I told him no, not for another year. I don't want to be stuck with an empty office to rent next year.

But the rent is good.

Sigh

The waiting is not.